When I was a child, I played with Barbies. I also played board
games like “Girl Talk” and “Mall Madness”. No, I didn’t have these things in my
room along with my Nintendo and He-Man toys. I had a little sister who, when
the street lights came on, needed someone else to play with! Sure, I'd bring some of my stuff into the mix, but most little boys wouldn't dare come near those girl toys. I wasn't too concerned with what a typical boy
was supposed to play with, I was more concerned with the big smile my baby
sister would have whenever I took the time out to play her games with her. She
still remembers those days and is forever grateful. Little did I know,
while I was helping my sister enjoy her toys, she was helping to mold a
future version of myself.
So here I am, a grown man, and I still play with Barbies!
The girlie board games have turned into Nintendo DS games and Playstation 3
games. And instead of a little sister, it’s my little daughters. That smile that
I see when I plop down on the floor means even more now. Thanks to those days
with my sister, I can even help my girls braid their dolls hair. Being a good
big brother prepared me to be a good father.
As a parent, especially a military spouse, you often have to
take on the role of mother and father. Sometimes that means stepping out of a
gender comfort zone and supporting your child. Mothers often have to show
interest in a wide variety of sports, video games or super hero toys. Fathers
have to suffer through Justin Bieber, makeup, or the latest “must-have” doll.
These are the things that we do because we love our children.
Many of my days are spent having tea parties, coloring, and
painting finger nails. In her mother’s absence, I must also become the “daddy
hair stylist.” Braiding doll hair taught me to braid my daughter’s hair. I’m
nowhere near as good as her mother, but that isn’t the goal.
Our purpose as a military spouse is not to replace that
missing parent. Our goal should be to do our best to be a suitable temporary
substitute. My daughter doesn’t care that daddy gets a little polish on her
fingers when trying to paint her nails. She doesn’t care that the braids are
all different sizes. All she cares about is that daddy tried. Heck, I sent her
to daycare with a curly afro and a flower headband! But to her, it might as
well had been a princess tiara, because I tried! So no matter how hard things
get, just remember to show up for your substitute duty and try your best!
