Barbies, and Board Games, and Bieber! Oh my!

When I was a child, I played with Barbies. I also played board games like “Girl Talk” and “Mall Madness”. No, I didn’t have these things in my room along with my Nintendo and He-Man toys. I had a little sister who, when the street lights came on, needed someone else to play with! Sure, I'd bring some of my stuff into the mix, but most little boys wouldn't dare come near those girl toys. I wasn't too concerned with what a typical boy was supposed to play with, I was more concerned with the big smile my baby sister would have whenever I took the time out to play her games with her. She still remembers those days and is forever grateful. Little did I know, while I was helping my sister enjoy her toys, she was helping to mold a future version of myself.

So here I am, a grown man, and I still play with Barbies! The girlie board games have turned into Nintendo DS games and Playstation 3 games. And instead of a little sister, it’s my little daughters. That smile that I see when I plop down on the floor means even more now. Thanks to those days with my sister, I can even help my girls braid their dolls hair. Being a good big brother prepared me to be a good father.

As a parent, especially a military spouse, you often have to take on the role of mother and father. Sometimes that means stepping out of a gender comfort zone and supporting your child. Mothers often have to show interest in a wide variety of sports, video games or super hero toys. Fathers have to suffer through Justin Bieber, makeup, or the latest “must-have” doll. These are the things that we do because we love our children.

Many of my days are spent having tea parties, coloring, and painting finger nails. In her mother’s absence, I must also become the “daddy hair stylist.” Braiding doll hair taught me to braid my daughter’s hair. I’m nowhere near as good as her mother, but that isn’t the goal.

Our purpose as a military spouse is not to replace that missing parent. Our goal should be to do our best to be a suitable temporary substitute. My daughter doesn’t care that daddy gets a little polish on her fingers when trying to paint her nails. She doesn’t care that the braids are all different sizes. All she cares about is that daddy tried. Heck, I sent her to daycare with a curly afro and a flower headband! But to her, it might as well had been a princess tiara, because I tried! So no matter how hard things get, just remember to show up for your substitute duty and try your best!