Meet our FRG Co-leader, Dee!

This week has been filled with long days and short nights. My daughter and I have left the house in the darkness of morning and returned to the darkness of evening. I will admit, I was a bit nervous about my first interactions with the Family Readiness Group (FRG). Last month, I went to the monthly steering committee meeting to discuss the Battalion activities, but there were other male Soldiers present that helped ease me into the setting. This week would be a little different.

The first meeting was our small groups. It consisted of the various Company FRG leaders and Co-Leaders getting together, discussing various events, and sharing ideas. As it currently stands, I'm the only male in a FRG Leader/Co-Leader position. I thought I would be uncomfortable, but that honestly wasn't the case. The ladies made me feel very welcome. Before we got started, there was some small talk and not once did I feel like their conversation was filtered due to the presence of a man.

During the meeting, I learned a lot of things about the activities that would span the rest of the calendar year. I also learned various techniques for distributing important information and tips to get people to contact you back. There are some people that want to be involved in FRG functions, and others that just want to know when their spouse will be back from deployment. By the end of the night, I felt I had contributed a decent amount to the discussion and had a new sense of comfort around these nice ladies. I didn't feel like I was surrounded by Army wives, I felt like I was simply surrounded by Army spouses who could share similar experiences; gender became the last thing on my mind.

The next meeting was our Company FRG meeting. It was supposed to be potluck style, so I did like I always do with this type of event....I ate ahead of time. As a Pescatarian (basically a vegetarian who may eat seafood), there typically aren't a lot of options for me at an event like this. I'm glad I did, because to describe the turnout as slim would be an understatement. I brought drinks, the FRG leader brought a beef dish and desserts, and that was all we had. Only three other people showed up, not including the Battalion Commander and Company Commander. We were able to put out some useful information and discuss some things with the volunteers. I was honestly disappointed with the turnout. I expected more people to be involved. But on the way home, I realized, there is a reason for everything. This small group that showed up gave the FRG Leader and myself an intimate setting to connect with a few people that seriously want to be involved. We are both new to the positions we have, so there was no pressure of coming into a established group and not living up to an expectation.

To any men, or women, that have never been to an FRG meeting (or your Military branch's comparable group), you really should stop by. It's an opportunity to meet people, and if you have time, to volunteer. Plus, it's the best place to get all of the information about what's going on in the Military community and if your spouse is deployed, they will be the ones to get you all of the important details you may be wondering about.

A lot of us guys use the excuse that there are no guys at these meetings, so we're not going. We say that these groups cater to the women spouses. When I met the (male) Company Commander, he told me that our job in the FRG is to disseminate information. Our main concern is the people that communicate back with us and the ones who want to actively be involved. So if only women want to be involved, then that's what spouse events will be catered towards. So men, we must be the change that we want to see. We must get involved and support these events. If we don't, we have no room to complain.